birth of a blogger

Here starts a new trend in my life, or so i hope. Gone are the days of my sins, of my continuous mistakes, my alcoholic and slacker ways. I am starting something today that may be something more some day. Maybe just maybe this will turn into that thing I've been searching for.

That thing, that one illusive thing that will change me, make my life have meaning and give me a purpose and define who history will view as the person I was, could this be it? Blogging a reason to live does that sound stupid? Lets see what are things that others use to define themselves? should I base myself on my career, my hobby, my passion, my social status, my knowledge, what is a valid point of measurement? I have already been Matt the college student, the guitarist, the poet, the artist, the loser, the winner, the badass, the hardass, the nerd, the asshole, yet,, none of these definitions had staying power. Time would seem to be the best test of a definition, if long ago I was something and still am that thing now than I am willing to say that I am that thing. I guess than that i am not a blogger, i am simply blogging. ah well i guess i will have to continue my search for self definition. Don't worry about me though it isn't that I need it, there is something that i need but whatever that thing that my soul cries out for, it too is undefined. as undefined as I am. Maybe i should search google for the meaning of life, do you think i would find advertisements or answers? Times certainly are changing aren't they.

Unlike times passed there are countless records made of our every move. Think what an invaluable tool historians of the future will consider social networking sites like myspace and facebook, does so much data fade into an abyss of ones and zeroes or is it neatly packed away into easy to understand and analyze packets of meaningful data? At some point i have to think that no one is going to care what i was thinking on October 6th 2009 at 10:52 p.m. but this moment is individual and will never happen again. Will you, the readers of the future look back on this moment and long for it? It is something you can never have, does that make it seem appealing to you? don't bother answering because these questions have long since left my brain before you have read the first, entirely unrelated words to this blog. This is my moment, don't long for it, own your own moment. Do you have the wisdom to realize that now, whatever time it may be is just as special, unique and fleeting? Are you going to be courageous and take it into your hands? Will you exercise the understanding required to follow along with my thoughts or will express your own? it doesn't have to be a different thing.

so are my slacker ways, my alcoholic tendencies, my sins really a thing of the past? Only if i am i suppose is the correct answer to that, but will this blog turn into something? Will it actually take me somewere? It already has, it brought me here.